Monday, November 25

Alzheimer's: What Not to Say


The title says it all. Whether caregiving for someone with Alzheimer's or just visiting, be wise & avoid these phrases.

  • BIGJOURNEYsmallsteps

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  1. So sweet! If I could, I'd like to add something. I have a sister who, when she sees my Dad, will look at him and in a very loud voice say, "What's my name? Do you know who I am?" I find this so frustrating and constantly tell her not to do that. They might know, they might not. Just enjoy the time with them! Hold their hand. They're frustrated, frightened and lonely. Just love them.

    1. When my 90 yo grandfather had Alzheimers, I made a long trip to visit him in hospital, knowing he wasn't expected to live much longer. He didn't know me (but I knew him!) and we spent a lovely 2 hours talking about his childhood and his early days at sea. He was happy and relaxed. Then my moron uncle arrived and said "Hello Dad, do you know who I am". I saw my grandfather become immediately stressed and shut down. If only we can get our own ego out of the way and think of the person with dementia who has enough to deal with without us making it worse!

  2. Even if I don't say remember (fill in the blank) my mom will say you don't have to talk to me like I'm stupid, you already said that.

  3. Thank you for comments. The same good wishes are returned.

  4. Thank you for your timely reminder......some days it's not easy but I'll remeber what you said x

  5. As someone in the early stages of Alzheimer's, please visit, talk, hug,touch, call, and talk to us about memories, and listen to music with us. It all helps us get through it. God Bless you!

  6. Thank you for that reminder. What I do with my visits to my wife is to be with her. That's the word,BE. What we can give them is our time, our love, the security of knowing someone is there for them. Thank you again.

  7. My mom lives with me and I go into her room every morning to get her up. Sometimes she knows who I am and sometimes I'm a complete stranger. If she doesn't know who I am she will usually ask who I am but if she is looking at me strange I will some times ask her if she knows who I am. I don't ask if she remembers, just if she knows me so I know if I need to introduce myself. I will sometimes ask if she knows who other people are, not if she remembers them, but if she knows them as if this might be the first time she is meeting them. When other people come to the house, I try to introduce them even if she has met them before. I once didn't do that and left a care giver with her who had been there several times before not realizing she didn't remember the woman and she was upset the whole time. I apologized to her when I got home and realized why she was so upset. It's hard, but I just try to pretend that everything is happening new each time. One of the hard ones is when she says she doesn't like a food that has been her favorite up until them.

  8. Thank you . I have early stage dementia. I hate it when family ask how I am .
    Or tell me I did that already. .
    Thank you

  9. Thank you for that information I have a lot to learn.


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