Doing fun things together, with parental supervision depending on the age of the child, can help both the child and the person with dementia.
When a family member has a dementia such as Alzheimer's, it affects everyone in the family, including children and grandchildren. Giving children understandable information about dementia can help them cope with Alzheimer's in their family. The type of relationship the child has with the family member and the child's age are important to help determine:
What information the child receives
How the information is presented
The child's part, if any, in caring for the person with dementia
The Bookstore on this site contains a number of resources about dementia that are available for children of all ages.They go into more detail about how to talk with and support children affected by dementia. Generally, some suggestions are:
Answer children's questions simply and honestly. For example, you might tell a young child, "Grandma has an illness that makes it hard for her to remember things."
Help children to know that their feelings of sadness and anger are normal.
Comfort them. If children express guilt or feel that they may have done something to hurt their grandparent, reassure them that they did not cause the disease.
If the child lives in the same house as someone with dementia:
Do not expect a young child to help care for the person with dementia.
Make sure the child has time for his or her own interests and needs, such as playing with friends, going to school activities, or doing homework.
Make sure you spend time with your child, so he or she does not feel that all your attention is on the person with dementia.
Help the child understand your feelings. Be honest about your feelings when you talk with a child, but do not overwhelm him or her.
Many younger children will look to you to see how to act around the person with dementia. Show children they can still talk with the person, at least in the early stages of dementia. Doing fun things together, with parental supervision depending on the age of the child, can help both the child and the person with dementia. Here are some things they might do:
Walk in the neighborhood
Do simple arts and crafts
Play music
Sing
Look through photo albums
Read stories out loud
However, in the later stages, the person with dementia may be completely unresponsive. This may be very hard for a child to understand.
Some children might not talk about their negative feelings, but you may see changes in how they act. Problems at school, with friends, or at home can be signs that they are upset. You may want to ask a school counselor or a social worker to help a child understand what is happening and how to cope.
A teenager might find it very hard to accept how the person with dementia has changed. He or she might find the changes upsetting and not want to be around the older person. It is a good idea to talk with teenagers about their concerns and feelings. Do not force them to spend time with the person who has dementia. This could make things worse.
If the stress of living with someone who has dementia becomes too great for a child, talk to other family members or friends about helping out. Or, find out about, and consider using, respite care options available in your community. Then, both you and your child can get a much-needed break.
This 30-minute HBO film tells five stories of children, ages 6-15, who are coping with a grandparent suffering from Alzheimer's. Maria Shriver narrates, delivering valuable "lessons" for the kids. Ultimately, the film shows how important it is to "go with the flow," offering perspectives on how kids can handle a grandparent's loss of memory through kindness, patience and compassion.
"Sandwich Caregivers" have a handful caring for parents and children all at once. A new survey reveals how their children help care for grandma and grandpa in many ways.
This groundbreaking documentary will change the way you imagine Alzheimer's disease - and quite possibly, how you see yourself. Young and old across America are learning how to connect at depths never before thought possible with people who have dementia.
